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Beauty in its various forms, shapes, and sizes: Esther Lee
Born and raised in Nigeria, middle school in Kenya, and high school in the Philippines, Esther’s identity has been greatly shaped by these different cultures and experiences. Now back in South Korea for university, Esther shares her life’s story, filled with joyful memories and occasional sorrows as she comes to grips with the blessing of having four countries to call home yet still feel lost… at times.
Esther’s parents were called as missionaries to preach and share the Gospel in the communities of Nigeria. Building a new life in a new country was already a great challenge for Esther’s parents, especially with the added obligation of raising young children. To make ends meet, Esther’s dad worked in the South Korean embassy in Lagos while Mrs. Lee taught art in schools while both still prioritizing their mission to preach the Gospel.
Their lifestyle was nothing near fancy or glamorous. Esther’s family prided themselves on the simple yet rewarding life they lived. The family would regularly hold Bible meetings in their house, always open to anyone interested in learning and to those who simply needed a meal for the day.
“I only have fun memories of Nigeria. The people were really nice, even though at times it was uncomfortable how expressive they are but that was just the culture there and we eventually learned to respect it and even love it!”
Although it was mostly fun, it was not all rainbows and butterflies as Esther and her brothers were also subjected to bullying because they looked different from the rest.
“When I was young, I attended a community school and we were the only Koreans. I do remember playing alone and then I would always get a basketball shoved in my face and my nose just started bleeding. My brothers were older so they told me that they were pretty much bullied as well. It was crazy. We had to leave the school because I was not learning at all and the kids were just wild. I was also teased by random strangers. Some street kids would come up to my brothers and shout, “white person!”, and would dance on our path to poke fun at us.”
Esther and her brothers did not pay much attention to the insults nor did it get through their heads since they were also surrounded by many local friends who accepted them for who they were. After searching and asking around for schools where they could transfer, a certain school checked all the boxes of what they were looking for. The only catch was, it was in Kenya.
“I actually did not know that I was going to Kenya until a couple of weeks before the flight. I would always call home since I really miss being home.”
Fortunately for Esther, the feeling of homesickness did not last long as she immediately became comfortable in her new school in Kenya. She found a community of people who were just like her, students who come from all over the world and whose families are also doing missionary work in Africa.
“I love Kenya! I distinctly remember that people were nice and I was also able to comfortably walk on the streets.”
As Esther is finally getting acquainted with her life in Kenya, her father had to take a sabbatical leave and return to South Korea to undergo a critical surgery. In Esther’s school, only students whose parents are missionaries in Africa are allowed to study. Therefore, Esther either had to return to South Korea and continue her schooling there or find another school for missionary kids. For Esther, going to school in South Korea was not an option. Esther expressed how the competitive environment in Korean schools was something she was not willing to sign herself up for, plus, she barely knew how to speak Korean.
“I just received a message saying I cannot be in the school anymore because my parents were no longer missionaries in Africa and I had to leave. I would probably go to a high school in South Korea but I don’t really want to do that. Then, a friend told me, “Hey, have you heard about this Christian school for missionaries? It’s in the Philippines”. And I was like, "What’s the Philippines?”. I had a friend called Felipe and he was from Brazil so I really thought the Philippines was in Brazil. It was that far from my life that I just had no idea what the Philippines was.”
While Esther’s parents flew back to South Korea, Esther moved along with her friend’s idea to study in the country she thought was in Brazil. In the Philippines, Esther was able to adjust pretty well and smoothly just as she did in Kenya.
"I know I said this about Kenya but the Philippines was even nicer. I remember being shocked by that. In the Philippines, they call each other “ate” (older sister) and “kuya” (older brother) which was really endearing, it just felt that everyone were my friends. And when I first came to the school, everyone was just so nice and I guess I wasn’t just used to that. The culture was just like happy and bright and it was similar to my previous high school. I loved the food, it was really similar to Nigerian and Kenyan food just the fact that it had a lot of spice and flavor. It was like being back at home for some reason."
While in school in the Philippines, Esther made use of all the opportunities to reach out to the local communities. Though wanting to stay, she had to make a bold move and fly back to South Korea to pursue her university degree.
“Truly, I do not know where home is anymore. Korea is nice because my family is here but I’ve just been living apart from them my whole life. In my freshman in college, I lived in a Korean dorm and I did not feel at home. If you do not have any business with the Koreans, the people there would just not talk to you. Maybe that was just part of the Korean culture but that really made me feel uncomfortable so I decided to transfer to an international dorm. And thankfully, in the international dorm, you could just randomly say hi to anyone and suddenly you are friends, and if you see them more than once then you’re suddenly best friends.”
For someone who has lived her entire life outside her passport country, Esther is finally beginning to reconnect back to her roots and make up for lost times with family and friends.
Here is what Esther has to say as she reflects on her life’s journey so far:
“If you are in the Philippines, go to Mang Inasal! Take advantage of that unli rice. But in all seriousness, living in Nigeria, Kenya, and the Philippines has taught me not to see things through the surface. And I know everyone knows this: how one must not judge a book by its cover, but we as humans often forget this simple principle.
Back here in Korea, everyone can be prejudiced or too focused on attaining these unrealistic beauty standards, but after living in 3 different countries, I have seen beauty in its various forms, shapes, and sizes! Race does not matter nor does skin color. It is always about one’s character and how you treat other people. I know a more important person has said this in a much cooler and fancier way but that’s my takeaway as well for all of you people!”